Two Years Ago Today

Screw everything else below. The real news is that yesterday, I actually had my shit together. Despite what happened 2 years ago. And it felt awesome to be in a really good place.

Two years ago today, my life changed forever when my husband walked out the door. And the ensuing months were (hopefully) the hardest time of my life. But thanks to some incredible people I was able to get through it and realize I'd been given a second chance.

I could have spent today sad, angry, lonely, etc. But I'm not. Instead I've decided to reflect on all the positive things I've learned from that experience.  

Firstly - 

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life.
There were days when I felt powerless with my world crashing down all around me and I didn't know if I'd ever be happy again or would ever stop hurting. But I also became more "real" than I had ever been before. I let others in like never before. I let myself cry in front of people. I got so angry that I broke things. And I appreciated every bit of love and happiness I received. And I found myself having some incredible experiences with amazing people. And the greatest moment was finding the strength to start over, on my own, in Chicago.

And because I was forced to become "real", I learned to - 

Be brutally honest. 
In all sorts of relationships. That's the only way you can really get to know a person intimately and the only way a relationship will stand the test of time. And this is even harder, but you must be honest with yourself. Even if you don't want to know the truth.

Enjoy the moment. 
My marriage didn't end when he walked out the door. It ended long before that and it wasn't only because of him. I didn't appreciate what I had. I prioritized a lot of things over my marriage and only realized it when it was already too late. So I try to be conscious of appreciating the here and now.

And being more appreciative of the moment, I realized that moment is best if you are happy - 

Don't take life too seriously.  
I used to. I still do a lot (hence this post). But I've realized sometimes you need a little bit of dumb in life. I've learned to relax a bit, smile more, not take everything personally and that it's okay to pick-up and go to San Francisco next weekend, even if you can't really afford it.

You control your happiness. 
Life can be pretty shitty sometimes - people will do shitty things to you, you will find yourself in shitty situations. You can blame it on those people or those situations, or you can control how it affects you. If you find yourself unhappy, you have the power to decide how it's going to affect you and change the situation.

You have the power to change, but some things happen for a reason - 

You don't meet people by accident. 
If I hadn't met my ex, I wouldn't have moved to Kansas City. It wasn't a coincidence that a friend from college was the perfect person to move in next door around the time my world was falling apart. It wasn't by accident that I met some amazing friends back in college who became my strength during this time. It wasn't by chance that at my lowest point, I met someone who understood exactly what I was going through. It wasn't happenstance that I met some new people who turned into exactly what I needed at various points over the past two years.

Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting - 

It's okay to miss people you no longer want in your life. 
The hardest thing about my divorce was not only losing my husband, but also my best friend. We had a lot of great times together over nine years and made a ton of memories. So of course I missed him. And I'm starting to be able to remember without crying. And it's okay that I miss him or miss certain things, but that doesn't mean I want him back.

And finally - 

#YouNeverKnow
My friend coined this hashtag during a softball game several months ago (and no, she was not talking about whether or not I'd actually hit the ball). But she was right. You just never know what might happen in life. Sure there are some things you can control, but there are a lot you can't. I don't know what's in my future - and even though that's can be a bit scary - I'm okay with that right now. Because #youneverknow what will happen next.

Dating while #30before31

One of my #30before31 challenges is to "date for real". I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's something I've had a hard time doing since my divorce. Part of me wants to not deal with dating at all, but the other part of me doesn't want to miss out on the experience of dating. Especially in Chicago. 

Well after a few months, I've discovered that my dating life and my cooking skills are unfortunately very similar. I keep crashing and burning with every new guy I meet. [And it's not totally because of my awkwardness]. 

I mean there was the potential #Tindernightmare with "Tinder Tom". On the second date he wanted me to come over to his condo - or rather his parent's condo - that he was living in at 11 o'clock at night. I mean if that doesn't scream "bad decision", I don't know what does. So needless to say, I didn't go on that second date.   

And then there was Chris, a pilot and huge Chicago Bear's fan. Who at 38, acted 23, and was obsessed with selfies. Like dude, if a guy does selfies more than the gal, there's a problem.  

And who could forget about Bobby, who just graduated from grad school, but I am pretty sure still lived in a dorm. Let's just say that didn't last too long.  

And of course, Nick, who dragged me around to every karaoke bar in the city so he could sing karaoke. He was fun, until he kept asking me, "why do you like?" Finally, I was like, "I don't." 

But I've also met some guys who have really been great - intelligent, driven, attractive, fun, etc. But the problem lies with me. I have a problem with commitment and making dating a priority. So there's that. Meanwhile, I'll continue keeping my options open and giving dating a chance. And maybe one day I'll be ready. Because #youneverknow

Luke's KC Crew | #GreatIdeas Series

This is installment #4 of my 30 "Interesting Idea" Posts #30before31 challenge. The challenge is to think of or find an interesting idea that would solve a problem or fill a gap. One that I have, one that I've seen in the world or one that one of my talented friends or colleagues have put into action. 

I stumbled upon KC Crew about 2 years ago when a friend and I were looking for a softball league to join with friends. The only option that we could find in downtown KC was KC Crew, so we signed up. KC Crew offers a wide variety of sports over multiple season, all culminating in an "end of the season" tournament. 

A few softball seasons later, I was surprised to discover that KC Crew was the brainchild of my former co-worker and peer, Luke Wade, a developer at VML (the company I also worked for in KC). 

Luke grew up a sports enthusiast, playing almost every sport as a kid, playing football in college, rec sports for his fraternity and playing soccer when he was stationed in Iraq. So when he moved to downtown KC, he was ready to join a sports league. But after extensive research he was shocked to discover that the closest sports league was out in the suburbs. After hearing his friends and colleagues complaining about the same thing, he thought why not be the one to solve the problem? 

He had the programming and graphic design skills to create a logo and build a website, initiative to start the league and connections to play. So in January 2012, he launched the KC Crew website and started a league. 

"For the first 6 months, I left my day-job at 5pm every day to ump all the leagues myself. I never thought it would turn into this" he admits. 

At the end of 2012, KC Crew had 1000 players and at the end of 2014, their participants have tripled to almost 3000 players. The league brings revenue to local bars who agree to sponsor specials before and after the game and they also do non-league charity events throughout the year to raise funds and awareness for organizations in the community. And what's so refreshing is the mentality of everything being really fun offering softball leagues, karaoke leagues, beer die leagues and events like Beer Olympics and a zombie End of the World Pub Crawl (which I am sad to say I missed every year). 

KC Crew has been so successful that Luke was able to quit his day job and make owning KC Crew his full-time job, along with getting involved in other initiatives that support the community. 

His vision for KC Crew is expansion & rethinking. He's excited to unveil new software that will change the way people organize their teams and make his job easier and less manual on the back-end. He hopes the new technology will allow to him start leagues in North Kansas City, Waldo, the 'burbs and even expand outside of KC. 

I wish the best of luck to Luke and am inspired by his initiative to solve a problem and bring fun/commerce to the KC community in an incredibly fun way. In fact, I can honestly say that some of my best memories of KC were with friends on that softball field playing in a KC Crew league. 

Louisiana Burn #30before31

One of my #30before31 challenges is to eat something I've never eaten before. So naturally, I decided to try Turtle Soup at Heaven on Seven, a restaurant with good old Louisiana fare, for a dinner with my cousin & her husband. 

Yes, that's turtle as in the green, slow-moving animal. No, it wasn't green. Or served in a turtle shell.

So what does turtle taste like, you ask? Chicken. But seriously the taste and texture of the turtle chunks were very similar to the consistency of chicken. The soup itself was very tomatoey and a bit oily. I'm not sure if the oil was from the turtle. But after one heaping spoonful, I was okay with not investigating any further.  

I can imagine to the vegetarian cousin-in-law at the table, this was harder to swallow than it was for me. 

Would it eat turtle again? Probably not. Am I glad I tried it? Not really. Would I do it again? Sure, why not try something that I haven't tried before. I mean, after all, #youneverknow what you might be missing out on. 

CIMA #30before31

Another one to check off the list: Go to an event where you know no one & leave with a contact.

So Thursday afternoon during my back-to-back meetings I got an email from a media rep that is supposed to come in next week for a lunch meeting asking if I s going to the CIMA party that night.

I had never even heard of the event so I quickly consulted Google. $260 for a ticket? Hell no, I thought but politely answered, no. And was promptly offered the ticket.

Should I go? I debated. I have to change & meet the rep & coworkers out for drinks... without knowing what they look like other than a LinkedIn photo. But why not? Worst case, I could leave early and cab it home.

Turns out, I made the right move. I got to meet the rep, got some potential freelance business, inserted my company into the Chicago advertising conversation, was wined & dined and actually ram into several coworkers, colleagues & friends at the event.

Moral of the story is, step out of your comfort zone because #youneverknow

How Is That Something That Happens?

As you may be aware by now, cooking and meal planning is not my strongest suit. So one Wednesday afternoon, I was rummaging through the work fridge, trying to make some sort of concoction for lunch out of rogue items I had brought in over the past few days. 

After quite a bit of work, I was able to scrounge up edamame, carrots, spinach, cheese, a tomato & some salad dressing (leftover from a client meeting) and things were looking pretty good. 

I put my plate on the edge of the counter as I was cleaning up the knife and other supplies and chatting with Kattie and another coworker, when a third co-worker came by. He reached his hand out - and I am not making this up - grabbed a handful of my dressed salad off my plate!

My jaw dropped in disbelief "What? What are you doing?" I cried, as Kattie and my co-worker burst into laughter.

Did that just happen? 

"What?" Coworker asked between bites, is this not just leftovers from the meeting? 

"No! That's my lunch!" I sighed. 

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled. "I'll bring you a tomato tomorrow." 

That is not even the point. Who eats dressed salad with their bare hands, when it's not even theirs!

And for some reason this is not the first time something like this has happened to me. Last year at the Chiefs game there were 2 different people who took french fries out of my order of fries as I was walking back to my seat. 

2 people I didn't even know. 

How is this something that happens? 

And BTW - the next day my co-worker brought me a tomato. 

Earlier This Week...

... I got jazz fingered by my coworker and roommate. At work. Stepping on the elevator with a bunch of my coworkers. 

It was awkward. 

#youneverknow

Edamame Brought to You By the VML Chicago Office

What can you make with edamame? Juan asked after Day 3 of eating edamame for lunch. I gave a few suggestions and then tried to investigate. Well it turns out that you can almost make this recipe using stuff we have in our Chicago office! 

I’ve annotated it to demonstrate. Will check back if it actually comes to fruition. Or perhaps try it out at your office and report back. 

Rainbow Peanut Noodles

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 30 minutes

Yield: About 4-6 servings

Ingredients

Rainbow Pasta Ingredients:

• 12 ounces whole-wheat pasta (I used DeLallo whole-wheat linguine) - You could use the Ramen noodles instead
• 1 Tbsp. peanut oil (or olive oil)
• 1 red bell pepper, cored and julienned (thinly sliced)
• 1 yellow bell pepper, cored and julienned – you might have to bring your own peppers, can’t help you there. 
• 1 large carrot, peeled and julienned – I saw some carrots in the second drawer
• 1 cup shredded red cabbage
• 1 cup shelled edamame – well obvi you have this 
• topping: thinly-sliced scallions (green onions), toasted sesame seeds (sesame seeds you can dust off some sesame seeds from the frozen bagels from breakfast a few weeks ago) and chopped peanuts (I think there were a few peanuts left in the cupboard from the Peapod order)

Peanut Sauce Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter – we should have this if Cloud didn’t eat it all 
• 1/4 cup soy sauce - I think a saw a soy sauce packet mixed in with the taco bell sauces on the counter 
• 3 Tbsp. water – just don’t use the bottle water in the drink fridge 
• 2 Tbsp. honey – I think I saw some of that yesterday 
• 2 Tbsp. rice vinegar 
• 1 Tbsp. grated fresh ginger
• 2 tsp. sesame oil
• 1 clove garlic, peeled - ?? 
• (optional) 1 tsp. sriracha hot chili sauce, or more to taste – got it 

Damn I Hope So...

Chicago: Where Dreams Come True

When I envisioned my future when I was a kid, I imagined myself living in the city, single, really successful at my job and enjoying every second of my life.

I never imagined the string of events that would lead me here. But I am so glad I made it.

And I couldn't have done it without all the support from my friends, family and coworkers. So thankful for everything!

So I am excited to be here in Chicago - where it's teaming with opportunities (and unicorns on top - that goes out to Nick).

Playing with Fire

So Chicago is really a great place to meet people. But that doesn't mean it isn't fun to Tinder every once & a while. 

On literally my second time Tindering in Chicago, I came across this guy's profile picture 

The girl in the left is my best friend, Claudia, from high school. I literally almost fell of of my air mattress laughing (I believe this was before my bed arrived). 

She is married. 

Has a son. 

And she has lived abroad for the past 6 years. 

LOL. Oh Tinder. 

Live Music Gets Us Every Time...

... well specifically, we love live music & beer pong at Mother's Too. 

#baddecisions #thursdaynights #youneverknow

This Happened - #youneverknow

I set my alarm early to go running along the lake & woke up to a notification on my phone - "Tornado Watch". Well I guess I'll skip running on the lake & go back to bed for a few minutes, I said.  

So then woke up way more than a few minutes later... in a rush, I threw on one of my go-to outfits & was zipping up my skirt when it got caught. So naturally I just tugged harder and I zipped it closed. 

Turns out that both technology & zippers are against me. 

Ten minutes into my 18 walk to work, a girl tapped me on the shoulder and told me she thought my skirt might be opening in the back. Okay, thanks I said. Sometimes it does that at the top. 

What I didn't realize was that the "split" wasn't just at the top. It wasn't until a second girl tapped me on the shoulder to say, "Um your skirt is splitting down the back, like the zipper is split open" did I get it. It was in fact, splitting completely down the back. 

I ducked into Starbucks where I was supposed to meet my boss, untucked my shirt around my skirt & cinched my belt tight to keep it up. Meanwhile, I crazily was dialing my roommate to see if she could grab an alternate bottom for me to wear the rest of the day. 

Luckily, she came to the rescue. Morale of the story - bring a second set of clothes to work and/or have awesome roommates. Because #youneverknow

Net-Working It.

Yesterday my friend, Lori, invited us to a party hosted by her company. Free food, free drinks and outside at a bar on the North Avenue Beach. 

It was a lovely evening - mingling, snacking, drinking a few cocktails, making connections. 

And then this happened. (And FYI, we don't know that girl in the sombrero).