"In the end, we'll all become stories." -Margaret Atwood

I stumbled upon this quote while trying to find a healthy heavy appetizer on Pinterest for NYE. It inspired me enough to stop, pin it (of course), take a screen grab and interrupt my plans of watching the Blackhawks to write about it later in the evening.

That quote precisely describe my mentality over the last three years of my life. Prior to that, I had bought into the fact that I'd live in Kansas City, married, working at the same agency I'd been at for the majority of my career. But then, with my divorce, plans changed and suddenly there were no plans. I didn't like that at first. In fact, I was absolutely devastated that I had no idea what to do with my life.

But after I stopped wallowing and feeling sorry for myself, I turned my heartbreak into a new look on life. If I wasn't going to live happily ever after as I had originally planned, what was I going to do to leave my mark on this world, my industry, my friends and family, etc?

You might think by reading this that I immediately signed up for the peace corps and started volunteering at a local soup kitchen five times a week. Well not exactly, although that would have been a positive option.

But I took a look at myself and my life and started to shape my own story. It was unconscious at first, but slowly I became aware of what I was doing.

My friends and coworkers who stood by me in during my struggle, became my family. So for a year, I spent my focus on orchestrating every scenario to hang out with them more, happy hours, a softball league, family dinner night, trivia night, etc. I never missed a birthday, shower, wedding, etc. if I could help it. No matter how broke, exhausted or ridiculous it seemed. I wanted to show my support in return.

Then I got the opportunity to grow my career by moving to our brand-new Chicago office with the potential to get promoted and build our relationship with the clients and partners. It was a bit of a crazy ride and incredible challenge, but did indeed push me to be a better account person and . I got opportunities in Chicago that I never would have gotten career-wise in Kansas City. And I was still connected back to Kansas City, my home.

And to help shape my personal happiness (and frankly distract me from being lonely), I took advantage of every potential trip, event and experience. At first, it was hard for me to be without a husband or family. But then I came to realize that I should take advantage of this time where I had the freedom to do what I wanted and didn't have to consider the impact to anyone else. I no longer had an excuse about why I couldn't do something - other than I didn't want to - so if I did want to, I found a way to make it happen. And it was awesome. I got to go to new places and experience once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. And I brought my friends along for the ride (or sometimes they brought me along for it). In a nutshell, as Bud Light puts it so eloquently, I was #upforwhatever

The opportunity in Austin came at a perfect time in my career and my personal growth. I suddenly could envision myself going off on my own and doing something without a huge support system on the ground. This thought that months earlier terrified me, suddenly excited me. I felt exhilarated thinking about the opportunity to decorate my own place, make my own friends, go to a new agency and make my own life.

It dawned on me that this is an opportunity where I have complete control over this chapter of my life. And it feels extremely scary but also pretty cool. And a risk that most people probably won't take. But I don't want to be like most people.

I didn't want to be like most people when I choose to go to college at Mizzou, knowing only one other person and having very little knowledge of Missouri, while my peers all went to colleges in Illinois, Iowa or Michigan. But it worked out (and was the best decision of my life) as it changed my trajectory positively and gave me a ton of memories to build my story.

Ultimately, in the end, I want to have a unique and unexpected story. And one that involves a lot of people, places and new adventures.

I've Been There, Burnt That (Again)

Well, I’m back again for another attempt at the blog, spurred by my new adventure to Austin, TX. 

The first time around, I hadn’t quite found my voice or my purpose. I’ve over the past almost year, I realized that not every post has to be about crashing and burning, because while funny at times, wasn’t really what I was all about. 

And it got hard to fit everything into a small, narrow box of situations where I’ve been burnt or burned something.

Don’t get me wrong, the toast burning mishaps and the challenges were fun.And this revelation doesn’t mean my blog will be super-serious, because I’ve learned that you can’t take life to seriously.

But I’ve realized “I’ve Been There Burnt That” is representative of life in general and not just the lows. So my blog will be representative of that -my life, my career, my move to Austin, my relationships, etc.

Before I was writing for you – or rather what I thought you were interested in. Or were about you. But now I’ve decided to write for me. I know that sounds selfish, but I got to make this fun for me to keep at it. I’m in the midst of reading Big Magic, a book by Elizabeth Gilbert (the lady who wrote Eat, Pray, Love), a quirky narrative about how to live a creative life. She states that if writing is your thing, you should never write for other people, you should write for you. And you should not be afraid if people will like it. Because it doesn't matter. 

So that’s what I’m doing. Writing for me, and not being afraid. And I hope you like it.  ;P

And living my creative life will not be limited to writing. For me it’s about writing, art, music and a mind-set of living. And I intend to reignite that spark with my move to Austin, even if it means starting a few fires and getting burnt along the way.